Posted by: Patrice Fitzgerald | January 18, 2009

Peeling the layers


Richard took this in November of '08.

Richard took this in November of '08.

As Richard and I approach our half-year anniversary (hard to believe that it’s been nearly six months) I am aware of getting in touch with parts of myself that were buried for a long time.  

I feel as though I laugh more, and am more comfortable laughing.  Richard teases me sometimes, to be funny, and I am getting used to teasing being okay — not threatening, or sarcastic, or mean.  I am learning that it’s okay to tease him!  I trust him.  I know him.

He knows me.  

Layers of sadness, repression, and anger are falling away.  Ways of being that were necessary to protect myself are no longer necessary.  I become more me.

And so does he, I think.  

We are not perfect, and of course not always perfectly attuned.  But the more we know each other and relax in our mutual love, the more we can see each other.  Perhaps it is our age, and perhaps it is our prior relationships, which have left us able to recognize what is important, and let the moments of impatience or frustration fall away.   

It is nice to peel off the layers of protection.  It is nice to know how it feels to be loved so wholly.  As my true self.

Peeling off everything that is not Patrice.


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